K N O C K O U T !
P A R T O N E
BY Paul William Fassett
Damn
this mental block. It's come from working on the same thing over and
over and then compounding the problem with never leaving the house. I
spent the last year, maybe more just sitting around, waiting for
inspiration to strike me but that's just not how it works.
Inspiration isn't like a living thing. It's something you force into
existence by getting out there. Talking to people. I love to be
around people, not just one though. I need many people. When I am
around just one, things get awkward. We run out of things to talk
about after about fifteen minutes and then I spend the rest of the
time trying to come up with small talk to keep the whole thing going.
I
guess I should describe myself, give you a mental picture of who I
am. I've got average length hair. A couple inches on the top, short
on the sides. It's curly and dark brown. I used to try and straighten
it when it was long but whenever it would rain it would just get
curly again and frizzy. Frizzy was the worst. Made me look like I had
an afro. I tried everything from hairspray to putting corn oil in it.
Yes, cooking oil. I expended a lot of energy trying to pretend I was
something that I wasn't, that now that I am older I don't know who I
am. I guess I am average with a few exceptions. I have a uni-brow. I
pluck it of course but on days that I forget it's very obvious and
sometimes I go weeks without plucking it and don't realize until
someone makes a comment.
I
work at a restaurant for people who want to seem fancy but don't want
to spend a whole lot of money to prove it. It's called The Hunter's
Lodge and there are tons of pictures of hunting dogs and guys in
those Sherlock Holmes hats looking off into the distance with a rifle
in hand. I went from being a busboy to a fry-cook in a year. Not
exactly a move up but it was slightly more money, so I guess there's
that.
I
was walking back home from work that night, because my car was
permanently fucked, costing me about four hundred dollars a month to
maintain. It was currently sitting in a permanent parking spot in my
apartment complex and I had to get the tags updated just to keep the
landlord from towing it.
So
yeah, my life was pretty much in the shitter. The only thing I had to
look forward to was boxing. I paid thirty-five dollars a month for a
locker and the privilege to take all of my aggression out on a heavy
bag. I never trained with anyone there because the private lessons
were stupid expensive. That's about half a weeks pay. Not that I
would have wanted to train seriously. The idea of being punched in
the head for a living is the last thing I would call a good time.
I
guess that brings me to the event. My apartment is nothing to write
home about. It's about four-fifty a month and less than that in
square footage. I had some noisy neighbors too. Real rioters. The
guys below me blast their music at a decible just shy of a jet engine
and all hours of the night too. The girl living next door doesn't
make a whole lot of noise though she is coming and going at all hours
of the night. Anytime someone closes their doors around here it
vibrates our paper mache walls like a gun shot going off.
That
brings me to the trouble. The whole ordeal that's got me tied to a
chair in some guys fucking basement.
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